A Trafficker in Climaxes

I started work this week and I’m tired. It’s not due to laboring over at the office though. It’s mainly due to the sudden change in sleeping patterns and my body’s inability to cope with the alteration during the first few days. My shift is earlier than my usual wake-up hours  and my body’s suffering as a consequence but give it time and it’ll be back to normal. I hope.

Work is amazing. I am surrounded with extremely intelligent people who have excellent technical, people and language skillz and whom I know I can learn a lot from. It’s crazy how smart and talented they all are to the point that they make me doubt my own abilities knowing I’m the only one in the team who’s without a title (one has two titles even! lolz). The only thought that consoles me is knowing that getting a job with a lot of other people as competition speaks of my potential to be just as great as my teammates are. Haha. I hope.

I know my diagram sucks. Shut up.

Basing on the presumption that a good job is something that fits what you love doing, what you are good at, and what people would pay you for, this job is more than good. I have always subscribed to the philosophy that when you do something you love, success and money will follow. It’s a great job because I know that I can be really good at it and knowing that people see me for what I can contribute is really heartwarming. It’s also something I can do for a long time because I learn something new with every project.

Nothing is stale. Nothing is boring. I am so blessed. ^^

Anyway, if you are one of those people who are unfortunately not quite so happy with their job or with the paths that their careers are going (sadface :( ), I suggest you think about it. I know it’s too early for me to know if I end up successful or not but right now, the future looks bright. Do something that you are eager to wake up early in the morning for. It will be worth it in the long run.

Here’s a cute hamster to help you ponder about it:

So a number of downright awesome things happened the past few days. Last week was crazy but it was a good kind of crazy – I graduated, I was interviewed (for the third time) for a job I would love to have, I silently partied with friends, five houses several blocks away from my house burnt to ashes, two firetrucks rushed to our neighborhood and parked in front of our house, I celebrated a year of being together with my boyfriend, my friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, among many many other things.

Graduating was really cool and it’s the highlight of the entire month of April. I know I’ve said numerous times before how graduation is just a silly ritual and how it’s negligible and blah blah but the commencement exercises last week felt surprisingly good. I felt so fulfilled, everything felt right and I just took it all in knowing how I deserved that day.

All the good things that have happened and are happening to me are overwhelming and my heart is flooded with so much thanks and praise. I have never felt so good about myself and about everyone and everything that surround me and have been with me all these years. I seriously can’t think of anything else to say right now but thankfully, I have prepared my own speech to mark the end of this very important part of my life. It’s like my own valedictory address to the people who have greatly influenced me and whom I couldn’t have ever done this without.

I am not one who give credit to gods/deities/voodoo for my achievements but I honestly believe that I couldn’t have done this without a powerful energy hovering over me during the last years of toil and turmoil. For this major milestone in my life, I would like to thank The Force, The Intelligent Designer and what my mom refers to as The Almighty, for giving me the strength to move on even during trying times and for giving me back the courage and belief in myself that I thought have long been gone. I call you The Force for a reason. Thank you.

I would like to thank my friends from high school, college and online, and especially my partner, Jonathan for always supporting and encouraging me in all of my decisions and for being a good influence in my personal and academic choices. Thank you for keeping me focused and for steering me back to the right direction every time I go astray. You guys are my personal cheerleaders and mentors. I will be forever grateful for having you around.

To the people in the industry who have inspired me to do what I do and become great at it, to my former colleagues and to IWC in general, thank you. You took me in even when I had so little to give and taught me a lot of things I couldn’t have learned anywhere else. You are all cool and I’m sorry for being so silent all the time.

To my Mom for giving me undying inspiration to finish this project to the very end, for respecting every decision I’ve made and for letting me make mistakes knowing that mistakes are some of the best lessons I could ever have. Ma, thank you for always supporting me in every endeavor I take, no matter how senseless they might seem and for constantly believing in me even when I fail. Thank you for always being proud of me even when I am not deserving of it and for always having faith. Thank you for devoting your life to me and I’m sorry that I cannot be the best daughter. You have my heart and I dedicate this lifetime to give back to you what you have selflessly given me.

I would like to thank my thesis adviser, Miss Pauline Wade, for taking me in as her advisee for the second time and for showing me the right path into making this project so much more than what I have initially thought it would be. Thank you to all my teachers – from grade school, to high school to college – for all the academic challenges which, when seen in retrospect, are some of the most meaningful lessons that have shaped my character, have brought out the best in me and have made me realize that I can keep going long after I think I can’t.

To everyone else who has been a part of this journey, no matter how little or how big your roles have been, thank you!

It’s time for me to face the “real world”. I’ve always felt like I’ve been having slices of it for the last few years but I have to be in it full-time now. Can’t say I’m not scared but I’m excited more than anything. HUZZAH.

O hai there. I’ve been very busy lately. Running some errands and doing some mature adult-y things that I find fascinating and scary at the same time. Let’s just say that I’m in the middle of something exciting right now and if the whole universe conspires to be on my side, I might jumpstart an entire life filled with things that I love doing and I know I’m good at. I hope I don’t mess it up though. *crosses fingers*

A lot of cool/interesting things happened to me lately. One of them was Kick-ass. The movie finally docked on local shores and I couldn’t be more stoked to see it. I guess every nerd who has read the comics went apeshit from all those awesome trailers and cool costumes and ingenious casting. Chloe Moretz, Aaron Johnson, McLovin and yes, even Nicolas Cage were excellent in the film. Every scene Cage was on was hilarious and IMO, that was his most enjoyable movie since Con-air. And I’ve said this so many times already, but movie Hit Girl > comic book Hit Girl. I can’t wait to watch Moretz grow up.

The movie differed a lot from the comics but not in an awful way. I’m usually forgiving when it comes to comics/book adaptations because I understand that the experience that blows you away when reading a comic or a book is hard to capture on the screen with moving people and stuff. A movie doesn’t have to be entirely faithful to its source when it comes to the plot but the over-all vibe should still be there.

I don’t really know where I’m getting at. @_@ I am bonkered and tired but I guess what I’m trying to say is that Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman did a wonderful job with the screenplay. They transformed the movie into something comic book fans and non-fans alike would love. I especially enjoyed all those little pleasant surprises and the first thing that came into my mind when I saw the film for the first time (I watched it twice, hrhr) was to thank the writers for a job well done. I’ve never enjoyed a movie like that in years (okay maybe not years, but w/e).

I’m listening to the movie’s OST right now and even that is awesome. Srsly. I hope they keep making films like this. If you haven’t watched it, then DO!

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)

Deadlines and quarter life crises are up to my neck, and they might drown me soon. I have a horrible, horrible feeling every time I think of what the future holds for me. My dreams and my principles are battling against each other and I feel so helpless so I turn to my deadlines and drown myself with them more.

Lately, I feel like I have stopped living and just started worrying. If worrying can kill, I am long dead by now. If worrying is contagious, I may have subconsciously invented a way for it to seep through your monitors right now and kill you as well, even if you are miles away. My anxiety is that powerful.

I need to stop worrying and just do what I have to do and then watch where my efforts take me. I sometimes forget my younger self, the one who has no care for the world. The one who still worries, yes, but doesn’t let the anxiety consume her.

I am an anxiety zombie. I lose sleep over the things that aren’t happening yet. I need to reinstate my ego somewhere lower in my head and just let it simmer there and let it calm down and stop thinking of how breaking it would be the death of me. I am more than my ego, after all. Or am I? ha!  A personal millennium prize problem.

Btw, today’s my favorite author’s death day. I was reminded of it through an SMS from trusty little Google Calendar. That app is amazing, I tell you. To celebrate, I should be reading something KVJ but deadlines are still looming over the horizon and I cannot given in to this little personal commemoration of my dear love’s passing. However, let me share to you one of my favorite quotes of his, and one that I try to live by. This quote is a timely reminder too, considering my current predicament.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Novelist, Over-all cool guy (1922-2007)

I’ll try to do that without frightening myself to death. Thank you, KVJ.

Credits:

Illustration by Jim Rugg. Further information on Rugg: STREETANGELCOMICS.COM

Further information on Kurt Vonnegut: VONNEGUT.COM