A Trafficker in Climaxes

And there he was, dreaming about the future. It looked bright and right and ready for him. There was no scary mystery to it and it was right around the corner.

Then he woke up and realized that, when you turn that corner, that future you have written and wished for is not always there waiting for you. In fact, it usually isn’t at all what you expected… Around the corner, there’s just another big annoying question mark.

It’s called life.

It’s an excerpt from the second issue of Daytripper. It really says a lot about all these adult-y shit things that I’m going through right now. If you haven’t read the comics, then DO! It’s beautiful and a lot of panels hit the spot. I’ve also started reading Sweet Tooth which is an apocalyptic story that involves kids who were born half-something (pig, mouse, deer, etc). I find apocalyptic stories fascinating. The comics has the whole zombie vibe to it too what with all the corpses lying around deserted streets and stuff. For the first six issues, I’ve noticed that the story is violent (guns and punches!) and gentle (doe eyes!)  at the same time. I know that’s kind of confusing but if you read the comics, you’ll know what I mean.

It’s been a lousy but fun-filled day today. I spent the entire day watching crime TV shows (Castle, The Mentalist). I like The Mentalist more because the whole Sherlock Holmes-y things that Patrick Jayne does are cool and interesting and the role is excellently played by Simon Baker. Besides, I think Castle treats death ever so lightly. I know they’re investing on the humorous/fun angle to mystery/police/detective work but popular music combined with the gory crime scenes just doesn’t appeal to me. Good thing Nathan Fillion makes up for it. Not that it’s totally bad though. It’s cool but the over-all vibe doesn’t work for me.

So yeah, that was my day. I see more dorking out tomorrow and I’m looking forward to it.

O hai there. I’ve been very busy lately. Running some errands and doing some mature adult-y things that I find fascinating and scary at the same time. Let’s just say that I’m in the middle of something exciting right now and if the whole universe conspires to be on my side, I might jumpstart an entire life filled with things that I love doing and I know I’m good at. I hope I don’t mess it up though. *crosses fingers*

A lot of cool/interesting things happened to me lately. One of them was Kick-ass. The movie finally docked on local shores and I couldn’t be more stoked to see it. I guess every nerd who has read the comics went apeshit from all those awesome trailers and cool costumes and ingenious casting. Chloe Moretz, Aaron Johnson, McLovin and yes, even Nicolas Cage were excellent in the film. Every scene Cage was on was hilarious and IMO, that was his most enjoyable movie since Con-air. And I’ve said this so many times already, but movie Hit Girl > comic book Hit Girl. I can’t wait to watch Moretz grow up.

The movie differed a lot from the comics but not in an awful way. I’m usually forgiving when it comes to comics/book adaptations because I understand that the experience that blows you away when reading a comic or a book is hard to capture on the screen with moving people and stuff. A movie doesn’t have to be entirely faithful to its source when it comes to the plot but the over-all vibe should still be there.

I don’t really know where I’m getting at. @_@ I am bonkered and tired but I guess what I’m trying to say is that Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman did a wonderful job with the screenplay. They transformed the movie into something comic book fans and non-fans alike would love. I especially enjoyed all those little pleasant surprises and the first thing that came into my mind when I saw the film for the first time (I watched it twice, hrhr) was to thank the writers for a job well done. I’ve never enjoyed a movie like that in years (okay maybe not years, but w/e).

I’m listening to the movie’s OST right now and even that is awesome. Srsly. I hope they keep making films like this. If you haven’t watched it, then DO!

This is an excerpt from Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space. It talks about the photo of the same name, Pale Blue Dot, taken by Voyager I on February 14, 1990. You can also watch a video of it here.

This has helped me a lot in realizing how trivial my worries are. It helped me get over my first major bout of QLC.  Love the picture, love the excerpt. You really get a sense of the microcosm that Earth is by reading Carl Sagan’s words.

Our problems, our quarrels, and our lives seem so insignificant when looking at it all this way.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 – 2001)

Deadlines and quarter life crises are up to my neck, and they might drown me soon. I have a horrible, horrible feeling every time I think of what the future holds for me. My dreams and my principles are battling against each other and I feel so helpless so I turn to my deadlines and drown myself with them more.

Lately, I feel like I have stopped living and just started worrying. If worrying can kill, I am long dead by now. If worrying is contagious, I may have subconsciously invented a way for it to seep through your monitors right now and kill you as well, even if you are miles away. My anxiety is that powerful.

I need to stop worrying and just do what I have to do and then watch where my efforts take me. I sometimes forget my younger self, the one who has no care for the world. The one who still worries, yes, but doesn’t let the anxiety consume her.

I am an anxiety zombie. I lose sleep over the things that aren’t happening yet. I need to reinstate my ego somewhere lower in my head and just let it simmer there and let it calm down and stop thinking of how breaking it would be the death of me. I am more than my ego, after all. Or am I? ha!  A personal millennium prize problem.

Btw, today’s my favorite author’s death day. I was reminded of it through an SMS from trusty little Google Calendar. That app is amazing, I tell you. To celebrate, I should be reading something KVJ but deadlines are still looming over the horizon and I cannot given in to this little personal commemoration of my dear love’s passing. However, let me share to you one of my favorite quotes of his, and one that I try to live by. This quote is a timely reminder too, considering my current predicament.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Novelist, Over-all cool guy (1922-2007)

I’ll try to do that without frightening myself to death. Thank you, KVJ.

Credits:

Illustration by Jim Rugg. Further information on Rugg: STREETANGELCOMICS.COM

Further information on Kurt Vonnegut: VONNEGUT.COM

What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they’ll keep being wrong!

This xkcd comic is an accurate summary of my life; or the part of it that I spend on the internet anyway (which is A LOT). Yes, I am extremely condescending online and I am not very fond of people whom I have major differences with. I tend to impose my thoughts and opinions on forums but I’m learning to just give up on it and move on, because yknow, it gets boring after some time. Also, I get pleasure in pissing others to the point of them losing their control, slipping into infractions and getting banned. I have tried it and it is very sweet indeed.

The Holy Week is quiet and slow and it gave me a chance to inspect my life.

I confuse myself. :(

I don’t seem to fit into any stereotype which might be cool but really I do, and not just one but A LOT. I feel like I’m too cool to be a geek and I’m too geeky to be cool. An extrovert who grew up to be so introverted to the point of distress. It’s funny how I was “awarded” the Gift of Gab in high school only to end up to losing the ability to chat several years later (okay, I chat but not offline¹).

I am a walking contradiction. :(

I do not know my niche.

Which geek are you? Click photo.

I know that I geek over some things but I am not a geek on any field. I like comics but I’m not into mainstream Marvel/DC superheroes. I like movies, but I like them all. I download a lot and watch too little of it. I like TV shows but it’s agonizing to watch them endlessly for an entire day.  My attention span cannot stand it. I like books and my interest in them might be the one thing that can win me an otaku spot but I haven’t been reading enough books lately. I like Physics but I have lost confidence in Math to actually excel in it. I was tormented with too much Math before I could learn to like it. Numbers are boring, applications of it and theorizing over the universe on the other hand, is übercool. Also, I like music but I fail at playing any instruments. I admit though that it is more of a failure in trying than anything else. Trying to learn an instrument is hard when you are surrounded with insanely talented people. I love programming and coding but I don’t have the grades to show for it. Also, I can be too shy.

I do not fit in. :( ²

¹ Yes, that’s a Sheldon Cooper quote for you.
² :P I am constipated. lol

P.S. I can’t believe I forgot to link the comic to xkcd.